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Reader's Feedback Section

OUTCRY Magazine Aug/Sept. 1999

Office Gossip

I became lonesome when we moved to the New York area, I desperately needed friends. A young guy at a local fast food restaurant became interested in me. We talked for a while. When it was obvious he wanted more than friendship, I stopped going to the restaurant  because I did not want to encourage him. Out of desperation, I made a mistake by inviting one of my co-workers to my house.   Previously, many of them were hostile to me when I first started working at the grocery store as the assistant store manager.

I mistakenly mentioned to my guest that my husband and I have been trying to have kids for the past four years and were not successful. I followed my husband from Chicago to the suburb of New York. Here, he presently works as an electrical engineer for a big company.

Later, I heard that this lady told people at work that I could not have children because I used to be a slut while I was in college. They even indicated that my husband should never have married me because I used to be a whore!

The other assistant manager called me to the side, told me the rumor that was going around and suggested I should not tell anybody about my personal business anymore. I felt hurt and humiliated!

Evidently, the little story that I told her about me was twisted and embellished upon to feed their malicious desire to hurt me.  Some of them were even saying that they need to fix my husband with another woman for a date because I was no good for him.

I was so devastated by the rumor which I immediately told my husband. On the internet I came across your article about self healing, it was helpful. My question is, should I leave this place of work and find job elsewhere?

Nancy, New York

Nancy certainly not! When you do that, you are playing into their hands. Ignore the gossip and wait till they tell it to your face, then you can take actions against them. Many work places regard gossips as being very disruptive to work and the rumor mongers may be terminated if it constitute a defamation of character.

Regarding your co-worker that you invited to your house, I will feel very sorry for her -- but do not show her the sympathy. Reduce your conversation with her to work issues only. Ignore the rumor and go about your work and react as if nothing happened.This tend to weakens your opponent. Continue to do a good job and success is your best defense.

Most people who maliciously make other people's lives their personal problems are usually very disturbed individuals. Good people do not repeat bad rumors realizing it can hurt innocent people -- they are the lowest of the lowest!

There are people at work who are hell-raisers, they do not care who they hurt with their mouths. They are usually very miserable people or very unpopular. Usually, they want to divert attention away from themselves and target other people so everybody else can join them. Sometimes they are untalented co-workers or just lazy workers who believe in bringing other people down so they can attain glory. Their victory is always premature. For most part, they always get their rewards from above. While they are busy trying to make other people miserable, the hot pots of their lives are cracking, and will eventually explode. I believe in the social retributive law of justice -- when you do evil against others, evil will come to your house.

Remember, you always have a legal recourse to take action against them for defamation of character. However, before you take legal action, make sure you have reported the case to the administration or the general manager.

Do not worry dear, good will always prevail over evil. Do not allow them to get you down, put them in their places and go about your work. One day, God will send you a true friend, for the time being, make Jesus Christ your best friend.

'Yinka Vidal

OUTCRY Magazine

Aug/Sept. Issue, 1999