Spiritual Serenity: Finally, I Found Inner Peace!

My Spiritual Journey and a Conversation with God

For 30 years of my life I spent searching for spirituality. I wanted God to breathe inside me. Little did I know that God was already breathing inside me from the time I was in the primary school. I was waiting for one giant divine revelation, or miracle to happen. But I have already witnessed many miracles and received many messages from above without realizing the power of God surrounding me.

Prior to attending the Los Angeles BookExpo in April 1999, my spiritual awareness became stronger because I reached a point in my life's journey that I told God to take over. I was no longer driving the car of my life, I became a passenger and let God do the driving. Spiritually, I surrendered everything to God. I  prayed and asked God for directions, and I stopped demanding the way I wanted things to be. I asked God to tell me what He wants me do because I knew I can perceive His voice, and I did not come back to this crazy earthly place for no reason. I still pray and ask for certain things. At the end, I will say, "May thy will be done."

Listening to Iyanla Vanzant came alive in her spirit at the Los Angeles Book Expo was like an added triple blessing from God. She had so much spiritual fire in her speech she became fire! She lived up to her name, "the Iyanla of the Yoruba land" a chieftancy title for a woman in prestigious position from the Nigerian Yoruba land. She qualifies for the Iyanla's title as "the lady with a spicy tongue."

After my surrender to God, I attained serenity and inner peace, my spiritual energy doubled. I stopped worrying about death and about things I can not control. I started working on those things I can change. I am no longer afraid of what any human being can do to me. They can place as many obstacles they want in my way, and our Creator knows how to take care of such situations.  I just smile and continue my mission -- I am a messenger on a journey. I know no one is perfect. We all continue to struggle between the body and the spirit while asking God for His blessings.

I never doubted the existence of God. The sun rises by no human initiation, the wind blows by no human power, and the flower blossoms by no power of man. The human body is a collection of computer parts working in harmony with God. We have spent years and studies to find admiration with the physiology of the human body, yet  we could never fully understand its operation. Each walking human is a unique being in its own way.

Sometimes I see people trying their best to be somebody else. I always wonder if these people have lives of their own. I never wanted to be anybody else. I gave up my idea of getting on the Oprah Winfrey Show after I tried for so many years, but I never stopped the mission God sent me. I don't want to be like anybody else, I want to be what God sent me to be.

After all these years of searching, after all these times of pain, after so many struggles, my freedom comes from above. All these painful experiences are challenges to make me stronger and help me grow. I finally realized I am a man on a mission. I will use the talents which my Creator gives me, to better human conditions.

I learned that money is useless except if used to do good things, and I don't need power to terrorize people to feel good. I will massage my own ego quietly within myself. I will feel so good it shows on my face. I do not need anybody to blow my trumpet to make me feel good. 

Sometime I feel jealous when I see those rich people bragging and carrying on in their big cars after leaving their mansions to mingle with some of us, the ordinary people. Even some of the celebrities have been turned to gods, they want people to worship them. I remember when I told a newspaper editor in Chicago that I wrote a book called, Overcoming the Invisible Crime -- the painful journey of my life. The stupid question this woman asked me was, "Who are you? No body knows you! Are you Oprah Winfrey? Who in the hell are you to be writing a book?" With painful anger I shouted, "If you can't tell the difference between a man and a woman's voice, you must be out of your damn mind!" I hanged up the telephone.

So I believe all these rich people are very happy making fun of us working class. So, I asked God. How can I be as rich as those people? Trust me God, I won't be bragging like those stupid rich people. I will use my money to do good things for others. In response, God showed me a very rich man who was never happy. He spent most of his time worrying about money -- the money has possessed him like a demon, money has become him. Then He showed me some very popular celebrities and one of them committed suicide because she believed she was no longer popular. Then God showed me a poor woman who worked and took bus to work for the past 30 years of her life. Although this woman had no car, she was a very happy person. I later learned that money has its own burden -- it can make life comfortable, but it doesn't guarantee happiness. No wonder many rich people are still going to church in search of spiritual salvation to bring them inner peace and serenity -- a nice way to fight depression.

I developed a covenant with God, I will try to do what makes Him happy. He realizes I am made of flesh and my imperfections always show. From this day on, I will like to leave God's impression on every heart I touch. If God gives me this life, I have to give something back to Him.

The essence of life is not about human ego, but about what we are able to give to others. Life is a short  journey, and one day it will finally end. The effects of good   work never dies. Our good work continues to live forever, regardless of the death of human flesh. Oh!  You mighty power from above, thanks for giving me the gift of life. I owe my greatest thanks to the Almighty, who made my existence possible.

written by 'Yinka Vidal

OUTCRY Magazine